"I'll have a blue, blue, blue Christmas'…I wonder if Elvis knew how profound a statement that was? All the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping and the crowds that are ever present can really stress anyone out, particularly the elderly.
If you will remember Ebenezer Scrooge was really grieving the loss of his business partner Jacob Marley and Ebenezer had no family. So it really was within the realm of possibility that his most common phrase was, "Bah! Humbug!" It was not until the shock of the visit from the last 'ghost' of the Future that Scrooge realized how much he had missed and how he could make amends. It was how he found "family" and broke the cycle of depression.
For many elderly citizens the holidays are a time of sadness if not depression. Many find themselves alone at this 'family' time of year. They have recently been widowed and are still grieving the loss of their spouse or friends or family. Add to this grief a family far away, an estranged family, or no family at all and this season that is supposed to be joyful becomes an ordeal of gigantic proportions.
Other reasons the elderly are overwhelmed by the holidays:
Poor health
Loss of independence
Loss of eyesight - or the ability to write and read holiday correspondence
Change in living situation
Financial limitation
In some locations they are overwhelmed by the weather. They live in a remote area and they cannot get out and no one comes to check on them. This could lead to starvation, suicide (thinking no one cares about them) or freezing to death.
Depression is not a normal part of the aging process. Some indicators of depression:
Change in appetite
Feeling guilty or worthless
Lack of interest in events or activities that one used to enjoy
Change in sleeping patterns (insomnia or sleeping too much)
Some ideas to cope with depression, particularly around the holidays:
If you cannot be with family, invite some close friends over to share the holiday
Helping others is a great way to forget your own troubles. Volunteer your time. Churches and/or civic groups would be grateful for your help.
Avoid alcohol as much as possible. Many seniors develop alcohol dependence after retirement or the loss of a loved one. Alcohol is a depressant and will intensify the feelings of sadness.
Most seniors are on a fixed income. Set a budget for gift giving and stick to it. Do not feel guilty if you cannot afford to buy those grandchildren an expensive gift. It is you they will remember, not the gifts. Overspending will cause worrying over bills long after the pretty paper finds its way to the trashcan.
Do not try to hide or deny your feelings of sadness. Often just being able to share your feelings with someone can help. To cope with the post-holiday letdown, spend some time to mount and organize photographs taken during the holidays. It is a time to relive the fun and friendship.
Start a phone pal group. Call each other and check on how everyone is doing or whether they need assistance of some kind.
May your holidays be sunny and bright with "bah-humbug" nowhere in sight!
About the Author:
Rev. Lucinda Schersing, DD is a Usui and Karuna Reiki Master
that believes wholeheartedly in the basic Precepts of Reiki
and the many meanings of the phrase, "We Are All Related".
